Two Terrifying Tales!!!

Chris Weigant at Huffington

Horror for Democrats.

...Ken Mehlman defends the accuracy of the vote, saying, "San Francisco was kind of a surprise, voting out Nancy Pelosi and overwhelmingly going for write-in candidate Pat Robertson, but the will of the voters must be respected." He also points out that some districts served by Sequoia voting machines actually voted strongly for seceding from the United States and joining Venezuela, asking, "Why aren't Democrats questioning those results?"

[...]

[CUE: dark closeup of desk with plaque reading "Karl Rove;" sound of insanely evil laughter, followed by minor-key dirge-like organ music.]

...the Republicans retain control of the Senate!

And Horror for Republicans.

The votes are cast, and carefully counted.

Democrats wake up the day after the election in control of both houses of Congress. Nancy Pelosi becomes the first female Speaker of the House.

[I really should just stop here -- as that alone is horrifying enough for the GOP!]

[...]

Massive corruption is uncovered, reaching all the way to the top. Massive war profiteering is exposed. The filth is so blatant and repulsive that even Republicans are shamed and embarrassed by it.

To show they are not connected with the scandal (and grasping at any straw which could get them re-elected), some Republicans call for impeachment. Speaker Pelosi reluctantly agrees (taking time out from her hectic schedule of passing laws to: mandate forced gay marriage for any single male over the age of 30; introduce sex-ed classes in kindergarten, complete with free condoms; and guarantee Social Security benefits to all illegal aliens, including Osama Bin Laden -- should he decide to move here), and backs down on her pre-election promise not to hold impeachment hearings.

[...]

The Senate holds a trial, and then promptly votes 70-30 to remove Bush and Cheney from office at the same time. They are subsequently frogmarched out of the White House in handcuffs, and handed over to the International Criminal Court in The Hague, where they face war crimes trials.

Since both are removed simultaneously, there is no one left to appoint their successors. This means...

[CUE: sound of terrified shrieking woman, and spooky chains clanking.]

...Nancy Pelosi (being third in the line of succession) becomes President Pelosi for the next two years!

Read the whole post, IF YOU DARE!!!